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I'm 25 years of age,i
was so scared for alywas in my mind the word hiv/aids. Most of the time
when i've encountered this wherever i am i felt so ashame for myself.
I have a very nice and a loving wife. This december 2005 i will have 2
kids at my side the most thing bothered me most is my past experience
with a girl in manila,philippines when i have a contact with girl whom
i've never known here background at all.durimg the time we have sex at
that night i felt things that for the first time i feel. My feet felt
numb and im wondering because it's just a first time for me feel that
numb of my feet during sex. At that time im still single but i have a
relationship with my wife at that time. She's 2 months pregnant for our
first baby. Honestly i've done such a mistake that maybe my whole life
will be at danger. Im scared for being contacted with that girl because
ive notice that, that girl seems so very lots of problems at her shoulders.
I've always sacred if i am been contacted and also my wife and 2 kids
i'll always thinking this so bad. What will be that future with my wife
and my kids? One year already since it happen until now im afraid of getting
a text for hiv for myself because i dont know what will happen to me if
it's been a devastating results. I have great plans for my kids i want
to them to be educated live with a happy family at theirs sides. For just
being 8 hours with that girl almost my life change at all. I was so scared,
i dont know what to do sometimes. Sometimes i've felt paranoid,lots of
things been change on me.
I dont want to lose hope at all, for i know god will be at my sides, im
always praying every night hoping that god will give me another chance
and dont let that scared things in my mind be on top of it, hoping that
with great powers and great kind from him he will give me a good health
in life with my family,i'm always praying to him that i can still
Live happily with my wife and kids.
Thanks for all hope u will read this as a share of being how hiv/aids
can affecte everyone of us eventhough you dont know if your negative of
positive,just always put in our mind that aquiring this kind of disease
in just a few hours of happiness will be a great devasting scenes that
will happen in our lives. It will create a huge impact in our life status
and in the near future.
Thanks.........................
Jose
Sent via Email November
25, 2005 from Phillipines.
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